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Dalton
Roberts |
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If you do not love yourself, you are in deep trouble. You will forever be your primary responsibility in life so since you are stuck with yourself, you might as well find ways to enjoy and love yourself. I see no way anyone can love others until they love themselves. Jesus intimated this when he said, “love your neighbor as yourself.” It’s been my observation that people who do not like themselves smear their self-loathing all over the people they meet. One time I wanted to go dine and sat for a half hour trying to find someone to go with me. At that moment it dawned on me that I hated being alone. That was a wake up call for me. I realized if I didn’t learn to savor my own company and solitude, I would forever look for this missing piece of myself in all the other people in my life. It inspired a song, “You Better Get to Liking Being Alone” and this is part of it: Takes a long time to get where you’ve got to go On your own, son, on your own Can’t nobody go there for you You better get to liking going alone Better get to liking graveyard nights Better start hating neon lights Son, if you’re gonna be strong You better get to liking being alone Becoming aware of how much I disliked going out to eat alone was good for me. It made me acutely aware of how little I liked myself and liking yourself is a necessary prelude to loving yourself. Start thinking about all the things you like about yourself and set aside some time to enjoy those things. I started scheduling “days with Dalton.” I found I liked myself much better than I realized. I have made enough progress that I recently wrote to someone, “I find myself to be an endless source of amusement and amazement. I can spend days just doing things I love to do and being grateful for the interests that impel me forward to explore life.” In case you are thinking I can do these things because I am retired and have a lot of time on my hands, let me say that I am as busy as I have ever been and I started this practice when I was county executive and had responsibility for the five main divisions of our government. It is important enough for you to create time for it. I simply set aside days to be alone and to enjoy my own little “goodies.” Even when I am among people, I keep my solitude. I may start the day with a walk around the Chickamauga Boat Dock. It’s a place I loved as a child. I would bicycle over there with a little sack lunch and fish on a big flat rock that jutted out into the water. These days I just like to feed the ducks there and walk. Sometimes I go to Village Market for carob-coated rice cakes and almond butter. They make it fresh every day, as does Nutrition World. While I am shopping, I drink a glass of their carrot juice. I love it but don’t like the chore of juicing it. Today was one of my “days with Dalton.” I went to Karl’s for veggies and banana pudding. Then to Nana’s for frozen custard (this really makes me love myself!) Then I took a while to look at all the new bird feeders at Wild Birds Unlimited. I only bought a fruit feeder (just five bucks!) to try to snag a few Orioles this spring but nothing is more fun to me than an unhurried visit to any place with bird stuff. The more you learn to enjoy yourself the less dependent you will be on others. Like me, you will soon find yourself to be an unending source of amusement and amazement. It is a wonderful way to find freedom in an unfree world.
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