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Dalton
Roberts |
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You don’t have to tell me. I have lived long enough to know there are precious few persons out there who want your counsel. It doesn’t matter how good you are and how much you know. People are just too stubborn and hardheaded to ask for your valuable knowledge. They can be so confused that they don’t know whether to wind their watch, scratch their head, or whistle “Dixie” but they don’t want you to know it. What are you to do when you have a great storehouse of experience and knowledge and discover that no one wants it? It is my firm opinion that you must give it to them anyway. There are two big reasons I urge you to counsel those who desperately need you but just don’t know it. The first reason is to stay in practice. If you don’t counsel, your skills will deteriorate. Somewhere down the line some poor struggling human might break through all their little fears of being considered inadequate and actually ask you for advice. If you don’t stay in practice, you’ll have to stand like a fence post and watch them go right over the bluff. Your guilt will be unbearable. The other reason is that it’s fun. Nothing can take the place of that feeling that you know the answers to people’s problems. It works wonders for your self-esteem. It gives you a chance to feature all the bone-chilling drama from your life. Always tell them how you’ve walked through miles of broken glass, been hit like a possum on a rainy night by eighteen-wheelers, and fell off high places landing on your head. Share all the bitter lessons life has taught you. You have suffered so much and if you never get to talk about it, all that pain was in vain. Who wants to keep excruciating misery crammed down inside all their life? If you are too bashful to do face-to-face counseling, do not let that hold you back. Do anonymous counseling. It is actually more fun because you don’t have the hassle of people arguing with you. A friend and I have started Ace Counseling Service to further the practice of anonymous counseling and you may join by simply doing anonymous counseling. You don’t need a license to hang on your wall. Those things are just something for people to see when they come to your office and people will not be coming to your office. All you will need is a computer or typewriter. We started Ace one night when we went to a country restaurant and they served us some corn sticks that were much too hard to chew. Here’s the anonymous counsel we sent to the owner: “We devote our lives to free anonymous counseling and we wish to counsel you about your cornbread. Your corn sticks are much too valuable to sell to diners. Consider contracting with a road paving company about putting them in their asphalt. What a road they would make!” “Also, offer them to railroads for use as railroad spikes. Don’t lose out on this market. By all means, consider vending to the military. Americans have died needlessly for lack of a weapon as powerful as your corn sticks. They could be fired from howitzers or used directly in hand-to-hand combat.” “While this service is free and provided as our contribution to the evolution of humanity, we do monitor our counselees to see how well they are using our valuable counsel. Some have seen dramatic increases in their business volume and begged us to identify ourselves so they can reward us but we’re not in this for the money. Seeing you do well will be our reward.” “If you ignore our advice and continue your slow slide toward oblivion, we will be sad. But we will always know we did all we could to save you.” Become an anonymous Ace counselor today. It’s time you were heard.
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