EVERYONE NEEDS THEIR OWN CULT
One of my favorite pals is Rev. Joyous Jefferson Pigsfeet, That’s what he joyously calls himself and I joyously enjoy his funny routines.
The title he has joyously bestowed upon himself is “General Overseer of the Joyous Flock.” The motto of the Joyous Flock is “get yourself up to joyous and keep yourself there.”
Even the rituals of his church are joyously hilarious. His next in command is Wah Bootie Hassah and once a year Wah Bootie slides down a giant water slide while the thousands of Flock members chant “Wah .... Bootie ... Hassah” as he slides.There’s never a dull moment in the Joyous Flock
I joined the Joyous Flock as soon as he told me about it. In return for my support, he joined my organization which I call WACKY (World Association of Cults, Kooks and Yahoos.). It has been so much fun that I have decided everyone should start their own cult -- at least in their mind or on paper.
It gives you a great way to do two important things: to make religious ideas you think to be silly look silly and to play up those you think have worth.
Like His Joyousness definitely thinks joy is a valuable thing and his water sllide ritual helps us laugh over some of the rituals that people take so solemnly. Every time I see those high and holy muckudy mucks walking around with high round hats, carrying their long scepters and smoking snifters, and droning Latin in a boring monotone iI gives me ideas for new WACKY rituals.
I do reserve the right to laugh over any religious practice that makes me laugh. If the ritual means a lot to someone else, I can respect that fact but if it amuses me to the point of laughter, I am going to laugh and those who take it seriously need to respect my right to be amused.
I look at it this way: If enough people had laughed at Jim Jones Koolade ritual it might have saved the lives of 800 of his followers who did the stupid ritual until they actually took it serious, poisoned it and drank it.
Never underestimate the gullibility of people when it comes to religion. Never underestimate the mental illness of power-mad cult leaders. Remember the little sweet-talking sky-walking idiot who talked a lot of people into killing themselves just as a certain comet passed nearby so they could all catch the tail end of it and go streaking to eternal bless. You could never create anything in your cult that could come close to that for riotous insanity.
A few nights ago I listened to a chubby TV evangelist speaking to acres of empty-eyed people about how Jesus was going to suck up all the “saints” into the air and leave everyone else down here to suffer unimaginable agonies for 7 years. As he described their suffering his eyes clearly glistened with a grin of utmost sadistic pleasure, like a sexual sadist who was watching the pain of someone he was torturing. If he is right and gluttony is a sin, he will be one who doesn’t get sucked up.
No one should have to listen to a man like that talk about Jesus, the most loving and caring man to ever walk the planet.
Please ... someone start a cult and call it “Heavenly Suction.”