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ARE YOU BOTHERED BY PRAISE AND BLAME?
6-28-09
To the extent that we suffer from praise or
blame, we have inner work to do. Nothing can turn a flashlight onto a
weak place in the psyche quicker that either praise or blame.
If we crave praise, it shows we have never taken the time to accept our
own uniqueness or to experience the approval of the Lord. If are
upended by blame, we still have a lot of insecurity and fear in our
life.
Everyone who has a problem with praise or blame would do well to serve
in public office for a while. No one is cussed and discussed more than
an old politician. We all say savage things about politicians that we
would never say to others
Like a verse I wrote in my song, "I Tan't Tand It":
Another thing I tan't tand
Is when Bush comes on TV
No matter what he has to say
It fwies all over me
I tan't tand to wook at him
That gwin make my skin cwawl
It ain't that I tan't hardly tand it
I tan't tand it at all
It's not a partisan thing. I got sick of hearing Clinton.. Presidents
seldom get a chance to give us great news. They are wrestling bears all
the time and we all get sick of hearing unpleasant news.
If one desperately needs praise or is deeply hurt by blame, if they can
just get elected they will have a chance to thicken their skin. If they
don't thicken their skin, they will be miserable all the time.
Making a clear and definitive decision about how we are going to deal
with praise and blame will help us deal with it quickly and cleanly and
grow as a person. My plan as county mayor was simple: just always do
what you think is right and get your inner "trip" from knowing you are
doing that. It is amazing how good one can feel by simply knowing they
are doing the best they can to call things honestly. When this is your
fulfillment, praise and blame become much less significant.
That plan worked so well for me when I was county mayor that I kept
following it after I left politics. If something works on one job, it
will work wherever we are and whatever we are doing.
I kept a file for anonymous hate letters when I was in office. At times
I had good reasons to believe someone might do me bodily harm. One very
sick man actually induced me to wear a bulletproof vest for a while. I
thought if I got zapped something in one of those hate letters or calls
might help the detectives solve the case.
Now here's the amusing thing: most of the projects that brought me hate
mail became great things for the people and now when I read that hate
mail and realize how good those things are to our people, I get a deep
reward.
I will flatly say this: if praise and blame had been big deals to me,
all my 16 years in office would have been miserable.
If praise and blame are big deals to you, you will be miserable. No
matter what you do, you will be miserable. We must all go beyond
hypersensitivity to praise and blame to be happy and to do good works.
Here's a prayer I wrote and put in my personal journal:
"Lord, you always did what you thought was right even if you knew it
could get you killed. It did get you killed but you said 'follow me' so
I want to do what's right and leave the praise and blame to You. Help me
to grow a good soul and not make my soul a little fickle polling place
for human opinions. Amen."
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