October 12, 2003
WHICH HELPS - TALKING OR SILENCE?
I was struck by something in
re-reading the story of Job and his sufferings. Listen to this: Job's
comforters "sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights,
and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very
great."
The reason they didn't speak was they could see his suffering was so
great. They could see he wasn't up to talking. They were empathizing
deeply with him and could read his mind and it was saying, "I just
don't feel like conversation right now."
What a great gift to just silently be with Job in his distress. No
know-it-all solutions, no accusations, no put-downs and no empty
platitudes.
Then they started talking. For days they offered up their theories of
why such great calamities had come upon Job. At times they actually
debated Job as he tried to make it clear that he had done no great sin
deserving of such great and painful afflictions.
I remember once when I awoke in my hospital room to find an elderly
gentleman sitting by my bed in silent prayer. I had never met him. When
he saw I was awake he told me he attended the local Quaker church and
"felt a leading" to come in and pray for me.
I remember how good it felt to wake up and find someone silently with
me. There is so much power in quietness. You have surely experienced
those times when spoken words broke a spell of silent communion with
someone.
I think we are trained by our culture to talk rather than to be quiet.
Recently I went through a beautiful nature center where two busloads of
kids were getting to see pristine natural beauty. It would have been a
perfect time to ask the kids to just become quiet and soak up their
surroundings. But from the moment they stepped off the bus until they
got back on, someone was jabbering. You couldn't hear the birds sing and
the small animals chirp for the adults rambling on and on in a monotone.
The scene actually made me sad.
One of the greatest spiritual skills is reading people and situations
and knowing when to speak and when to be quiet. If we are not sure, the
best path is to be quiet. It is also the most difficult thing to do.
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Check out Dalton's website by going to http://www.daltonroberts.com/
