MY SUNDAY JOURNAL
By Dalton Roberts
IPS Features
12-15-02

SPIRITUAL TRADING

Not long ago I put a phrase in my journal after reading it in some magazine article. It was the phrase, "spiritual trading."

The context, as well as I can remember, was that the balanced spiritual life is one where we give and receive in equal amounts.

Years ago I would have seen this as too mercenary or business-like to be considered a spiritual truth. But as I have observed my own life and many others, I have come to see it as an essential spiritual truth.

When we give and give in any relationship, receiving nothing or substantially less in return, we exhaust ourselves. At some point, resentment sets in. We know we are being used and any relationship sours when we reach the realization that we are just being used.

When we take and take and take, we create the identical energy drain and resentment in others.

We may kid ourselves into thinking we are above such human thinking. We may see ourselves as too spiritual to be "keeping score" this way. And for a period of time we may indeed be above such feelings and soar in our giving with no thought of receiving. But we will crash. We are a balance of humanity and spirituality and the humanity must be respected as much as the spirituality.

It has always impressed me powerfully that Jesus called himself "the son of man" more often than any other phrase. He was teaching respect for our humanity.

No, it is not pettiness to devote our attention to keeping balance in relationships. It is respect for the humanity of others as well as your own self.

When they asked Jesus to tell them the most important law, he said, "Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself." Those last two words often escape our attention - "as yourself." I think he is saying if you have a healthy love for yourself, you WILL love God and your neighbor. If you cannot love yourself, you will never be able to have love and respect for your Creator or your neighbor.

We actually teach others how to treat us by the way we allow ourselves to be treated. Let people use you and they will conclude you like to be used. Give of yourself with love and receive gifts graciously and you teach that you are a spiritual trader. You are in balance.
It is not keeping score. It is being attentive to a fundamental spiritual law of balance. It is demonstrating self-love so you can become the kind of person who can love others.

Love is a balancing act. To see it otherwise is to get our lives out of kilter. Love is like a seesaw - you have to push yourself up before the other person can push you or themselves up.

Most of the loves I have lost have not been from taking too much. It has been from giving too much. I did no one a favor. I taught them they were much more important and they took me serious. You never bless another by being unkind and unfair to yourself.